Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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