Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize