How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize