I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
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I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
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woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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