Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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