I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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