I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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