Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize