I'm going to jail i love you
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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