I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
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Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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