Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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