Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize