Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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