Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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