Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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