What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize