Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
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Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
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I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I have aggressive nipples.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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