Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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