i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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