i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
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Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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