I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize