This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize