i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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