pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
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Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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