idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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