I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
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Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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