My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My cat gives me a boner
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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