One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
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I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
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I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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