Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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