so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize