tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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