Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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