Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
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My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
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I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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