she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize