I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize