So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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