"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize