my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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