his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize