the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
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After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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