She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
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He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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