oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize