Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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