Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it glows. i had to have it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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