She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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