i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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