holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
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I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
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Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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