I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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