i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize