That's intense
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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